If only they came with souls

Mentos is good for chewing, or getting paint on your pinstripe business suit and rolling around like a beached walrus so your entire suit gets paint on it, but what else is it good for? I’d like to know. If they had souls, I’d say keeping them as pets, or making them into robots (Saves the trouble of inputting the C ++ soul program into them). But what else? As it stands right now, all they’re good for are two things, so I don’t see what the big deal is about them.

Now, crack! THERE’s a booger sugar with a personality. Not that I’ve done it or even recommend people do it, but if there’s one thing that represents the 80’s, besides keytars, it’s crack.

And Mr. Belvidere.

But mostly crack.

Stupid good for nothing Mentos. Freshmaker, my clavicle!