Wait, Madam! There is comedy in your purse

Spread the word! Rich wears women's underwear (No, not THAT word!) What I meant was, spread the word that this BLOG makes polio string cheese come out all of your orafices. And if it doesn't, lie to your friends and say it does. Rich is tired of sucking scrotum to get ahead, and he wants a real job, one that pays. So come on in! I have Hot Pockets in the fridge

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I hope I go bald before thirty

I have a receding hairline, but that’s just not enough for me. And since it’s been about 12 years since I’ve actually grown hair, I’m hoping that it won’t take so very long to lose it. But I don’t want to lose it all (I’m not a freak), I would like to have a big bald spot right in the middle that I can cover up with a little stool pigeon’s hat and take off at will whenever women pass by. I could then bow down and say, “Hello, ladies, isn’t today a marvelous day for a unicycle race?” and then take off the hat and show them the awesome black man’s comb over I’ve produced. I’m thinking of trying this out at the local discothèque.

Another thing I hope to do is stand up again. The first time I went, some guy in back was flashing a red light and the host of the evening was walking up the stage to either pummel me or tell me that, “Hey, kid, you’re not funny, now give up the stage to a black guy who actually makes black jokes,” in so many words. Next time I hit the stage, I plan to make Malcolm X earn that extra large coffin of his by making him spin in it until he goes flying into orbit.

And PS. I hate my life, nobody wants to give me a job…

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