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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I just ruined some kid’s Christmas

So guess what I just did this morning, kiddies? Come on guess.


I just preordered a PS3. And you want to know how?

Well, it turns out that my ties to the local Gamestop have finally turned up roses as I got the call about the secret, hush hush tip from an informant around 7:00 this morning.

I woke up to the call groggily. I really didn’t know what the caller wanted, but if he was waking me up during a dream I was having about ruling Vatican City with an iron fist, then it better be good. But when I brought my hand down my face, I noticed something strange when I looked down at my phone. The number was blocked.

Perplexed, I was still too tired to think about NOT picking up the phone, so I answered it. There was talking at the other end. It was my friend. He sounded out of breath and excited.

“You know about the PS3 preorder I was telling you about last week?”

“Yeah,” I said, my voice sounding tired like clouds drifting across an orange skyline.

“Well, we have it today, and if you want it, you better come soon.”

My barely slit eyes were now opened wide with worry. “YOU MEAN TODAY’S THE DAY?!”

“Yah, man, and you better get down here fast if you want one,” and then he hung up. That was all he had to say.

I would find out later that he was calling from an undisclosed location (possibly his car) and that his voice was technologically altered (possibly by a futuristic cold), but all the secrecy was necessary when you think of it—the PS3 is going to be the hottest console this Christmas (Sorry, wii warriors, but you know it is).

When I rushed outside, I hopped feet first into the windshield of my Rav 4 and sped off to the bank, my tires squealing like a banshee on the murky banks of Scotland.

After taking out a $100 bucks (can you BELIEVE that’s how much they’re asking for a reservation?!), I avoided all the red lights—by going through them—and reached the Gamestop at 9:15 on the dot, forty five minutes before the store was set to open.

Blast! There were already 3 people outside the store, and if my corrective vision contacts were correct, then I was seeing yet another mom coming out of her minivan and sauntering up to the line with the intent to buy. I unbuckled my seatbelt and stormed out my car.

When I sprung out my door, I curled up into a little ball like Samus and went into a roll across the pavement GI Joe style. When I got up, I ran to the Gamestop and just beat her by a few steps. When in front of her, I stuck out my tongue and wiped the sweat off my forehead.

But why the rush to be number four, you ask? I mean, why not just settle for being number five, or six or seven, even? I mean, come on, they were going to have more than four or five reservations, right?


WROOOOONG! What my little informant ALSO told me this morning was that this particular store was only going to get FOUR PS3’s on launch day and it was going to be like that all over the country.

Wha wha wha whaaaaaat?


Yep, really.

And this really isn’t all that surprising when you consider that Sony only plans to release 400 thousand PS3s on release day in North America (really? That’s it?). And you know what that means, right? SOMEBODY in this apple pie and Soul Train lovin’ country is going to fork over double the price of admission just because they feel they HAVE to be a part of the next generation on day one. And when I charge for double the price of the console, it’s really not my fault. I’M not in the wrong here.

Sony is. They’re the ones shipping such a paltry amount to these shores on day one.

Didn’t they learn anything from the pratfalls of Microsoft’s 360 release? Apparently not, because now some kid from the ‘burbs is going to have a pretty crummy Christmas since he won’t get the system he’s been creaming over ever since he saw previews of it on YouTube. He might even have to settle for a wii, or, God forbid, an X-BOX 360. Alas, poor guy.

But by the looks of the PS3’s dismal launch (And the wii’s immaculate one) maybe I just made that kid’s Christmas the best he’ll ever have. Or maybe I just made it just a little bit crummy.

Either way, I know what I’m going to do with MY PS3 when I get it at launch…sell it on EBAY! I mean, seriously, what else am I going to do with it when it comes out? Play it? Yeah, okay, that’ll be the day.

Maybe, if I sell high enough, I’ll have enough to buy a wii, a yacht, a PSP and Riiiiiidge Racer. Or maybe just a wii and a few games. But whatever I get, I can tell you this; if anybody’s the loser in all this it’s Sony. The consumer could always buy something else, the wii being a testament to that.