Wait, Madam! There is comedy in your purse

Spread the word! Rich wears women's underwear (No, not THAT word!) What I meant was, spread the word that this BLOG makes polio string cheese come out all of your orafices. And if it doesn't, lie to your friends and say it does. Rich is tired of sucking scrotum to get ahead, and he wants a real job, one that pays. So come on in! I have Hot Pockets in the fridge

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I’m not doing it, I’m not doing it, I’m not doing it (And by it, I mean, selling my Goosebumps Collection)

The other day, while I was writing a blog entry (whooooa, Meeeetaaaa), my mom told me, and these were her exact words, “Snoop Doggy Dogg needs to get a jobby job,” with the name Snoop referring to me, and the word job referring to, well, a job.

In other words (Or maybe it’s just the same words) I need a job. And I’m talking about one that pays this time, too (No more free pogs for me).

So, I’ve decided to go into teaching, which is something I would actually be good at instead of something I would fail miserably in (*cough* like writing *end cough*). But, before I take that final plunge into the Praxis, my mom advised, all Zen-like and stuff, that I cast away all the things that emblemize my childhood to truly take that one, two, two and a half, three steps into manhood.

Now, when she says “get rid of the junk” in my room, I know perfectly well that she’s hinting at the overflowing box of Goosebumps books I have, and she made that abundantly clear when she left a note on it saying, “THIS does not equal grandchildren.”

But I’m not doing it. Next she’s going to ask me to get rid of all the awesome Garbage Pail Kids I’ve collected over the past decade (You think its easy stripping for rare cards?! Well, it is!)

I’m not going to do it. I just won’t.

So, the next time you see me around, I’ll probably be a teacher. But not JUST any teacher, mind you, but THE teacher with the whole Night of the Living Dummy trilogy. Take THAT, family! R.L. Stein, be proud!